Torn

I'm still tired.  I took a day off, slept in, and I'm still tired.  Ever just lose all your steam?  I'm there.  Nothing seems to work right for me.  I'm still trying to get one swatch done, and I'm not happy with it.  So, part of it came out (the pattern part - the swatch was a sc and pattern swatch and the pattern part has been ripped back).  I'm out of steam, no motivation, tired, lacking in get up and go.  My socks are slow-going, and I had so many ideas but I can't get going.

I took a nap every day when I was off, and I'm still tired.  I feel okay, but just not quite there.  I ate fairly well too; nothing super salty or bad for me.  I think part of it is that I can't get my back to stop hurting.

When you live in pain, it's hard to feel normal.  The problem is that it's not horrible, excruciating pain, so I function pretty well.  Most people don't know.  It doesn't really show.  But I know it's there.  It's like having shin splints - it doesn't hurt through everything, and there's not a whole lot that you can do about it, so you just have to live with it and not run.  Only it's not running that makes me hurt - it's bending over.  I've found I tense my shoulders when knitting as well.  I feel almost like a big bundle of tension.  But I can't get rid of it.  I don't know if it's just leftover from my last job, or if it's just my life now.  I try to get as much rest as possible, but it's like it's never enough, and I can only stay in bed so long before it's just not comfortable any more.  Maybe I just need a massage.  Maybe I should drink more water.  Maybe I just need a vacation.

I think everyone's going through something like this: the Yarn Harlot, Truly Myrtle, Luvinthemommyhood, and I'm sure others are as well.  Maybe we're all just tired; maybe life is just getting overwhelming.  Maybe we're all expounding so much energy, and it's catching up to us now.  In any case, I may change my diet a bit, and see if that will help.  It's just hard to get started some days.