Since the last time I have posted, I did put my doctorate on hold. I have tried to spend more time doing things that I enjoy, while getting things done that have to be (hello, laundry). I feel like I am floating more and more. I do not feel like I have a direction, a goal, an objective. I feel like I am floating. I am not sure that I enjoy this feeling. I have never had it before. I have always been driven. Not in a Type-A way, but I have managed to figure out a direction to live my life, and have done so with purpose. Now, I feel that I do not have that. I have started seeking full time employment again, not because I want to go back to work, but because I feel I have to.
Floating is great at times, but when you see a need that you cannot fill, it hurts. Floating down a river is peaceful, until you see someone who needs help. Then floating is no longer a good choice.