All I wanted was a hem and Winner(s)

Okay, so I got my skirt ready to hem.  Not a big deal, except that I can't duplicate myself, stand on a chair, and hem it.  I asked my mom, seamstress extraordinaire to help, and she offered some advice. The advice was helpful, but it would have been much more helpful if she had actually pinned it up for me.  Perhaps I wasn't clear.  So, I took it to Knit Night, since there are several women there who sew.  I thought SURELY I could find someone to help me pin it.  This is what I got:

 I know it's hard to see, so here's a close-up:

Not exactly the most helpful yet again.  What I had hoped was that someone would turn up the selvedge edge (the bottom) and pin the top of that edge to the skirt so that the bottom folded edge would be the hem and it would hit where I wanted it.  No such luck.  Instead, I get someone who rambles on about how big of a difference it is between the front and the back (I have a big behind - I get it, I'm a big girl - I'm big all over; why would my rear be any different than the rest of me?!) and that I need a chalk line thing (she didn't even know the word for it) to mark it.  Is this a seriously hard concept to get?  All I wanted was someone to pin the skirt.  Really - that was it.  I thanked her (like a good Southerner), took the skirt home, and complained to my husband (like a good Southerner).

In other news, here is what Oatmeal looked like:

Sorry, the bathroom at home is limited in mirror space.  I know I'm a big girl, but it was a little TOO big.  I seem to have problems making sweaters for myself.  I think it's because I'm in too big of a hurry, and I'm not paying attention.  Skelf was a little different, and requires more tweaking than re-writing.  So now, my Oatmeal looks like this:

I did some math, and broke out my trusty TI-83 calculator from high school.  Yes, I still have a graphing calculator, and yes, I used it in high school.  I know I'm a nerd. :)

For the contest (I know that's really why everyone is reading this - to find out if they won), you're going to have to wait to find out what's happening.  I think I have figured out that the mystery ball is actually Patons Roving.  In any case, I'm going to make BOTH ladies who commented the winners!  Please contact me Molly and Brittni, (l r n b r o w n AT gmail DOT com - obviously with the spaces removed and the AT and DOT, well, you know) and we'll get the prizes settled!  Yay!  Winners!