Self Care

"You can't pour from an empty cup."

"Put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else."

"Take care of yourself."

These are all trite sayings, but there is a definite truth in them. I started practicing more "self-care" recently. It's not selfishness, or at least I don't mean it to be.

As a stay-at-home mom, I do a lot for others. I cook multiple meals per day. I wash dishes. I clean all the linens (towels, wash cloths, sheets). I make sure everyone has clean clothes. I make sure the pantry is stocked with items for meals and snacks. I make whatever food I can't buy or can't find that tastes good. I find items that are "lost" (read: not laying in the middle of the floor with a neon light blinking around it). I scrub toilets and sinks and tubs. I make sure the animals in our house have water, food, and a clean place to sleep. I shop for all the glamorous things like toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, vitamins, socks, and craft supplies. I put all these things away. I make sure all the bills get paid and the checkbook is balanced (thanks accounting degree). I arrange for all maintenance work to be done, and follow through with it. 

As a homeschooling mom, I teach 3 children approximately 8 subjects daily. And plan all those lessons. I arrange for friends to get together, for lessons outside my wheelhouse, for doctor appointments. I make sure everyone gets there. I check work, do 3 math lessons a day, and help emerging writers. This isn't to say how great I am. This is to show how full my days are and how much time I spend doing things for others. 

As a Christian, I live to serve. I really do love it. I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I also know that if I don't take the time to center my focus and let God fill my energy, I will rapidly deplete what little I can muster. I have learned that if I don't make myself a priority, no one else will. Jesus went off multiple times during his ministry to pray. He left his friends and all the crowds to spend time alone with the Father. I need to do the same and follow his example. 

I finished a book this week, The Empowered Wife. It's a marriage book, and I read it with a group where we discussed it. In it, the author states her purpose of ending worldwide divorce. She introduces 6 intimacy skills to make better marriages. While my marriage is a happy one, we could all use some help and improve. One of her first skills is self-care. She tells the reader to make a list of 20 things that make you happy. These can be anything from a walk at sunrise to getting a pedicure to a great cup of coffee on your front porch. She also encourages to make the time to do one of them 3 times a day. While this book is not written from a Christian perspective, the principles transfer. In order to serve more effectively, we need to spend time with the Father. In order to do our duty cheerfully, we need a break now and then. 

I have been practicing this, and I'm happy to report that I have more energy, am more relaxed, and get more done. You saw my list of what I do - it's exhausting just typing it. Taking a little time for myself during the day makes a big difference. I start with my devotions in the morning, which includes a lot of prayer time. While I eat breakfast, I am listen to a podcast. Then during lunch, I read.  Sometimes I will craft a little during lunch. My children can find me and I can/will stop if they need me. But usually they have a little break and play, read, watch a little TV or craft during lunch. This also gives them a good break. After dinner, before I clean up (and some afterwards), I craft. Is it a time waster? Maybe. The work will be there waiting for someone whether I take time for myself or not. Instead of doing it with bitterness and grumbling, I am able to do it with cheerfulness and a smile. How do you practice self-care? Do you notice a difference?